What’s in Grace’s Satchel?
A press release so spicy I had to double-check I hadn’t accidentally wandered into the wrong kind of matinee.
Yes, darlings — The Liar, the Bitch and the Wardrobe is back, and my Yorkshire cheeks have gone all shades of beetroot. Following a sold-out run at The Turbine Theatre last year, How Cool Productions and The Union Theatre are re-rolling out their “very adult panto” from 29 November 2025 right through to 4 January 2026. Christmas will never be the same again… though Narnia certainly won’t.
Directed by Sasha Regan — person who clearly enjoys pushing festive boundaries — this gloriously filthy, camp-as-Christmas musical smashes together pantomime, pop culture, and pure chaos in a way that had me clutching my postal sack last time. If you’re expecting frosty forests and lampposts, think again.
A Narnia You Absolutely Cannot Explain to Your Nan
We follow Edward and Peter — East London lads with a knack for getting into scraps — who are packed off to Babs Douche’s Boarding School for Bad Butch Boys. So far, so wholesome.
But then they discover the wardrobe. And instead of snow and fauns, they tumble straight into a Narnia that would have sent C.S. Lewis into early retirement. Expect encounters with Mr. Topless (I’m listening), The Hungry Beaver (I’m not commenting), and the wicked Tight Bitch (I am commenting, but only privately).
There are musical homages to Chappell Roan and Taylor Swift, enough innuendo to power Greater London, and jokes that made even me gasp — and you know I’ve heard things on my postal round.
The Cast Who Dare to Do This Eight Shows a Week
Starring:
• Katie Ball
• Tom Duern
• James Georgia
• Joe Pieri
Brave. Very brave.
The Team Behind the Madness
Directed by Sasha Regan
Musical Director: Richard Baker
Designer: Reuben Speed
Costume Designer: Janet Huckle
Producers: Nik Haukohl and Sasha Regan
Stage Manager: Owen Hollands
Casting Director: Adam Braham
I’d love to see the risk assessment for this lot.
Where, When, and How Much for This Level of Naughtiness?
The Union Theatre, 229 Union Street, SE1 0LR
29 November 2025 – 4 January 2026
Press Night: 4 December at 7.30pm
Performances: Tue–Sun 7.30pm, Weekends Matinees 3pm
Tickets from £20 via uniontheatre.biz
Grace’s Closing Note (she’s blushing again):
If you’re after a festive show that’s sweet, sparkly, and suitable for kids — this is absolutely not the one. But if you want a night that’s outrageous, unfiltered and guaranteed to make you cackle, then polish your baubles and get booking.
Right — I’m off to deliver this to my editor before I combust.
