Christmas Carol Goes Wrong
By Grace Hatchell
I have made a decision.
It is perhaps not a financially responsible decision, nor one I have discussed with the guvnor Andrew or anybody sensible, but those are traditionally my favourite sort.
I have taken up residence in Cambridge.
Not permanently, you understand. I still have a postal round to complete and abandoning an entire Yorkshire neighbourhood because I want to watch Operation Mincemeat would probably result in some sort of disciplinary conversation.
But Cambridge Arts Theatre has unveiled its new season, I have examined the list, and there are far too many things I want to see.
So I’ve acquired a small theatrical residence nearby.
By “acquired”, I mean I have yet to investigate property prices in Cambridge.
This plan may need work.
Still, look at what they’ve done to me.
First, we’re going to need a very large diary
The autumn season begins with Noël Coward’s Present Laughter from 8–12 September, starring Tracy-Ann Oberman and James Dreyfus.
Then, almost immediately, Willy Russell’s Blood Brothers arrives from 15–19 September.
Two shows in and already my proposed Cambridge residency is looking remarkably cost-effective.
Then comes By Royal Appointment from 24 September–3 October, with Jane Asher playing Queen Elizabeth II alongside Samantha Womack, David Robb and Matthew Cottle.
Written by Daisy Goodwin, the play looks at how the Queen used her famous wardrobe to communicate her thoughts to the world.
I communicate most of my thoughts through facial expressions while standing on people’s doorsteps, but apparently royalty had considerably better tailoring.
October isn’t exactly calming down
On 4 October there’s It’s All Greek with Robert Powell and Dame Siân Phillips, followed by London City Ballet bringing Firebird to Cambridge on 6 and 7 October.
Then it’s the turn of younger theatregoers, with Dog Man: The Musical from 8–10 October. I shall resist elbowing any eight-year-olds out of the way for a good seat.
From 14–17 October there’s something particularly Cambridge: the Cambridge Greek Play.
This year’s production is Euripides’ Ion, performed in ancient Greek by Cambridge University students.
Ancient Greek.
I struggle when somebody writes an address in joined-up handwriting.
Still, I shall attend and nod thoughtfully.
And then from 19–24 October we get Operation Mincemeat.
Yes.
That Operation Mincemeat.
One of the West End musical successes included in Cambridge’s new season.
I might need to extend the lease.
Martin Shaw then stars in A Man For All Seasons from 27–31 October.
October: completed.
Grace: exhausted.
Cambridge residence: increasingly justified.
November has apparently declared war on my free time
The Gang of Three arrives from 3–7 November, a political drama built around the real-life Labour figures Roy Jenkins, Denis Healey and Tony Crosland.
Then Phil Wang arrives with Uh Oh on 8 November.
One day later, we’re into Pride & Prejudice* (*sort of), running from 9–14 November – an audacious retelling of Jane Austen’s classic novel.
There will be no travelling home between these.
I’ve done the maths.
It was very poor maths, but it supported the conclusion I wanted.
On 15 November, Countdown’s resident wordsmith Susie Dent brings Word Perfect to the theatre.
And then from 17–21 November, things get considerably more sinister with The Haunting of Hill House.
Excellent.
Nothing makes a temporary residence in an unfamiliar city more appealing than spending an evening watching The Haunting of Hill House before walking home alone.
The season also has plenty more for thriller and true-crime fans later on, with Paranormal Activity and Agatha Christie’s The Hollow waiting in 2027.
But before those, Cambridge has Christmas to deal with.
Jack and his beanstalk
From 27 November until 3 January, Jack and the Beanstalk takes over the theatre.
Cambridge panto favourite Matt Crosby returns as Dame Trott, while UK Pantomime Award winner Steven Roberts plays Jack Trott.
Jessica Martin is Fleshcreep, Zweyla Mitchell Dos Santos plays Princess Jilly, Emma Williams is Fairy Sunshine and Stuart Simons becomes Merlin the Wizard.
And this isn’t a theatre casually having another crack at panto. Cambridge Arts Theatre has just won Best Pantomime in the 550–900 seat category at the 2026 UK Pantomime Awards.
So now they’re promising another enormous helping of music, comedy, magic and festive nonsense.
I shall obviously attend.
By this point the Cambridge residence has Christmas decorations.
New year. Surely they’ll give me a rest?
No.
Cambridge Operatic Society presents Catch Me If You Can: The Musical from 13–16 January.
The Marlowe Society then brings a professionally directed production of The Two Gentlemen of Verona from 20–23 January.
Both are part of something I particularly like about the Arts Theatre programme: local companies and Cambridge’s own artistic community aren’t being shoved to one side while the big touring productions come through. They’re being given space on the same stage.
February brings a new adaptation of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time from 9–13 February.
Then the Cambridge Footlights appear for one night only on Valentine’s Day.
Which is convenient, because apparently the theatre is my Valentine now.
Six follows from 16–27 February, before The Waste Land: An Evening of T.S. Eliot on 28 February.
That’s quite a week.
Queens, student comedians and T.S. Eliot.
Cambridge doesn’t believe in easing you gently through February.
March. Still here.
Mischief returns with Christmas Carol Goes Wrong from 2–7 March.
Christmas.
In March.
Fine. I’ve stopped asking questions.
Tatty Macleod brings Things My Mother Said on 14 March, followed immediately by an adaptation of Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns from 15–20 March.
Sindhu Vee arrives with Swanky on 21 March.
And then Paranormal Activity runs from 23–27 March.
Once again, I question my decision to live within walking distance.
Finally for March, younger audiences get Pip and Posy on 29 and 30 March.
At least Pip and Posy are unlikely to make me afraid of my own hallway.
Although I’m taking nothing for granted.
April brings opera, murder and something rather special
English Touring Opera takes over from 1–3 April with new retellings of Tosca and Orpheus and Eurydice.
Then there’s Agatha Christie’s The Hollow from 6–10 April.
And on 11 April comes Myra’s Story, the one-woman play about a woman’s experience of homelessness in Dublin which became a hit at the Edinburgh Fringe.
Now you’ve got my attention.
You know I have a weakness for something that’s fought its way out of Edinburgh and onto stages around the country.
Then from 13–17 April comes Punch, James Graham’s acclaimed play based on the real-life story of Nottingham teenager Jacob, whose impulsive punch one Saturday night had devastating consequences. It’s another piece that the theatre hopes can provoke discussion and perhaps even change.
That’s the sort of theatre I particularly want to see.
The kind that gives you something to talk about on the way home.
May and June – because apparently I’m never leaving
Heathers the Musical arrives from 4–8 May.
Then June starts with Felicity Kendal in Noël Coward’s supernatural comedy Blithe Spirit from 7–12 June.
On 13 June there’s An Audience with cricketing legend Lord Ian Botham.
And finally, from 15–19 June, there’s a new production of The King’s Speech.
There.
I’ve done it.
Every single show.
Nobody can accuse me of skimming the brochure this time.
Actually, perhaps my residency isn’t such a ridiculous idea
Because Cambridge Arts Theatre itself has been through quite the transformation.
Between January and November 2025, it underwent a £16 million redevelopment funded by Lord David and Dame Susie Sainsbury through the Gatsby Charitable Foundation.
Its 666-seat auditorium was completely refurbished, with improvements to audience facilities, technical services, sightlines and acoustics.
And they’re not finished.
Plans are now being developed for a new 200-seat rooftop studio theatre, intended to create more opportunities for new work, emerging talent and engagement with the local community.
Now that is interesting.
Because look at this programme.
We’ve got major actors. West End musicals. New adaptations. Political drama. Edinburgh Fringe successes. Comedy. Children’s theatre. Opera. Ballet. Pantomime. Amateur theatre. Cambridge students performing Euripides in ancient Greek because apparently ordinary Greek wasn’t difficult enough.
And potentially, in the future, another smaller space where new work and emerging artists can find an audience.
That’s a proper theatre ecosystem.
So yes, I’ve taken up residence in Cambridge.
Please redirect my post.
Actually, don’t.
I’ve got a round in Yorkshire at seven tomorrow morning.
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